Happy 10th month sweetcheeks. I love you!

I’m craving for potatoes.

Not connected to the guy of my dreams but still..

I’m craving for potatoes. And chicken. And cheese.

And milk tea.

Woopla

I didn’t realize how much I missed kissing you ‘til I kissed you yesterday. 

The clock is tickiiiiing

Idk what this blog is about anymore. It’s not just about me stating why I’m in love with you anymore. Idk. A diary, I guess? Anyway, I’ve been looking at our old pictures and it has made me come to realize that time flies so fast. One day, we’re seatmates, the next, we’re officially together, then the day after that, we’re getting ready for college.

I’m bracing myself for the weeks I won’t get to see you, the unanswered phone calls, the misunderstandings and surely, tears. There will be bucketfuls of tears. But I hope we’ll get through this. Can’t wait to see you again, sweetcheeks.

I miss you. A lot. And I don’t understand.

We were okay two nights ago.

And you never answered any of my calls

and now I learned that you were offline on fb chat.

What do you want me to do..

What now?

• you being so vain about your hair
• you tickling me
• you being protective
• you kissing my cheeks
• me kissing your cheeks
• you getting dirt out of my face
• you doing my hair even though you don’t know how to
• i love every bit of you.

Hi Arvie,

9 really wonderful months. And more to go, hopefully. We’ll figure it out. Hold on tight baby okay? I love you so much.

Forehead kisses.

Remember these? 

• The day we got together? My first training day. The Barney stuffed toy hanging from the trike? We pretended we haven’t made up yet in front of Jeff and others.. I kicked you under the table because I can’t hide my smile. The walk from ATC to Festi. How Vj told you to ask me to be your girlfriend already so you’d have the right to go jelly.
• First kiss. The time I wondered what it would be like if I kissed you, and you did.
• First month. The day we agreed to meet up on August 22, 2012 no matter what.
• Late night phone calls.
• There’s this one times when we were walking along Mendell Hall and there’s nothing left to talk about so we just laughed randomly.
• The cactus! It’s a cheap gift idek
• Make up make outs.
• Urdaneta Hall stairs. Yeah, the back one. Sneak a kiss when no ones looking.
• Remember when you cried at tita’s?
• Remember when tita.. you know.
• Valentine’s. I melted inside and you were adorable. 
• Us waiting for my dad outside the church
• You walking me home every time you can
• You dropping by almost everyday
• AFTER PROM
• Nica’s birthday
• The kitchen!
• Marami pa.
• Sobrang dami pa.
• You know, beside all “I love you”s and “I miss you”s, there’s these two phrases that stuck in my mind: “Hinding hindi ako magsasawa sayo.” and “Hindi ko kayang mawalay sayo ng matagal.”
• Idk.
• The former just made me fall for you harder while the latter kind of broke my heart a bit.
• I wanted to see you today. Really. I’ve been up since 5am. I don’t know why. Still haven’t talked to you today. You won’t reply. But that’s okay.. I guess.
• I just wanna tell you that never ask me to make a decision about our relationship. You and I both have a say in this.
• I love you sweetcheeks.
• And this is me trying to not let you go.

Belated happy birthday. Really sorry. I miss you. I love you.

Hi there sweetcheeks.

Right now, as I’m writing this, I’m trying really hard to contact you but you’re not replying to any of my messages. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure it’s my fault. So sorry. I know I’ve been apologizing a lot lately but I really am sorry. For how I’ve acted and how fucked up things are right now. I’ve said this so many times before but not talking to you hurts. I’ve been thinking so much about us and how we’re gonna do this long distance relationship. We’ve been very physical and idk how we’ll handle just talking and not seeing each other. The thought kind of kills me.  Ayoko lang talagang malayo sayo. Pero ngayon, yung hindi mo pagpansin sakin, parang ayos lang sayo. You know how I tweeted that you weren’t as sweet as you were before, and you told me you’d make it up to me, you did. For the next couple of days. Then idk what happened, balik ulit sa dati. Maybe it’s almost entirely my fault. I’ve been spending these past few months trying to make up for what I did when we were still Juniors. I’ve been trying so hard. I love you. Sana lang nararamdaman mo. Kasi lahat ginagawa ko para lang iparamdam sayo. Sorry sa mga pagkukulang ko. I’ve never been in a relationship this.. long before. I’ve seen the crash and burns and I dread the day that that will happen to us. Chances are we won’t be together forever but I’ll do my best-est to make this work. I just hope that you would too. I’m fucked up. I don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing.

Don’t worry about me falling in love with someone else. Masyado akong inlove sayo para mangyari yun. Yeah, there may be some guys out there but I’ll always choose you. I thought you knew me well enough to think I won’t leave you for someone else. I hope you stop thinking on how some other guy is better than you because seriously, idgaf. I’m just scared as you are. Every other girl seems to be head over heels for you. Well, idk I’m one of them. You must think that I’m one very clingy girl.

I hope.. you’d just talk to me whenever you have a problem.

And stop giving me silent treatments.

Maybe I’m just scared that you’ll get used to not talking to me.

And not talking is the start of forgetting.

Just scared you’d forget me.

Idk.

I love you.

• 21
• The Hunger Games

• Ahhhhhhh not seeing you sucks. I’ve been used to your presence and adjusting is hard as hell :(
• Oh well. We’ll get through this.. I hope.

• Sorry I make you jelly of other guys. But Idk it has always been you. I just hope you won’t forget that. Because your silent treatments are driving me crazy.
• You know how some girls put up statuses on what kind of guy they’d love to have as a boyfriend? I’m lucky that I have exactly what they and every other girl in the world is looking for. Lucky enough that someone like you would choose me, out of all the people.
• I just want you here. It’s possible that we might not end up together, but I won’t let go without a fight. I just hope you’d do the same for me.

• We fit together like puzzle piece.
• I love the warmth that comes from your embrace.
• Your lips on mine.
• The sound of your heartbeat.
• You.